Film: The Goonies
Screenplay: Chris Columbus
Role: Lawrence ‘Chunk’ Cohen
Actor: Jeff Cohen
Length: approx. 1 minute minimum
Everything. OK! I’ll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I played Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog… When my Mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch, I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out. But the worst thing I ever done – I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa – and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And t-t-then, this was horrible, all the people started gettin’ sick and throwin’ up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.